My dance with uncertainty

Does living with uncertainty have importance? and its hold over my(our) mind

Hello everyone, I hope you all having a wonderful week! Here is a journey into the mind that hopes to provide you something to contemplate.

As always, thank you for your support on this mind exploration journey I’ve taken, I truly appreciate the support and your kind words.

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A quote to consider before you read today’s letter…

“Take a soldier and put him right in front of a cannon in a battle and fire it at him, and he’ll go on hoping, but read out a certain death sentence to that same soldier, and he’ll go mad, or start to weep.”


Living creates uncertainty. But it’s this dance with uncertainty that creates windows of love, wisdom, and creativity.

Stick with me and allow me to explain.

Uncertainty, it’s become fundamental to our understanding of human existence.

There’s an uncertainty principle in physics; there’s measurement uncertainty in mathematics. The point: we need to hold within ourselves a level of uncertainty to even begin understanding this existence.

We must dance with uncertainty.

We are constantly moving through life: wondering, hoping, and being. With these inner perceptions holding our reality — inevitably — doubt and suffering follow into our state. But that’s it! It’s a level of uncertainty that allows the flow of those inner feelings. You cannot run from them. It’s our fate, whether or not we admit it to ourselves.

Maybe the origins of this uncertainty — this perception of life — is the acknowledgment of our own mortality. We live with this fate, every day. It’s in our minds waiting to remind us. The perception exists somewhere in our psyche. For some, our mortality holds sway over our purview more than others. But bottling up this perception doesn’t change the reality of our finite nature.

But you might wonder, am I not inserting certainty into an articulation of uncertainty? 

Not exactly. Take death…something I said was certain. The reality of our agreed upon understanding of death — where you stop living in this reality — will happen. Yet, we have endless questions and contemplations to consider that go beyond that reality(what happens after death?). Uncertainty is all around us, even when facing the harsh reality of our finite nature.

All of this brings us towards a reminder that exists within us — a place of doubt; a place of fear that holds something very real about our existence. A home of sorrow; a home of suffering; a home for joy. But it holds an understanding of all of those places.

Yet, the awareness of this state brings with it a constant need to balance this fate with your current existence. We find ourselves on a balancing beam of doubt and wonder; love and suffering; fear and joy.

Those who find themselves in this state, something that feels real to the core, can never forget. It’s inevitable. It’s always with you, thus all you can do is manage it. Why? You are living with the chaos of existence. You cannot forget that chaos, because that chaos holds life’s joys and life’s suffering. You need both. You become aware that it’s you, the person in charge of your inner psyche, that must continually re-create and validate your existence. And with this, sometimes we allow the chaos to slip back into the forefront of our psyche, where it takes control.

This makes me wonder, what if I had denied existence all this time? Denied uncertainty. Denied fate. Would this inevitable tug-of-war with my psyche be kept at bay? Bottling up this perception within your mind can prevent it from exploding, at least for some time, maybe even until my inevitable death.

But wait, we need uncertainty, right?

Without uncertainty, you have certainty.

With certainty, you live without curiosity, exploration, experimentation, and imagination. You need them to even begin grasping this strange existence. From the cosmos and into your own psyche.

Uncertainty holds the mystery of existence; it’s a place of peace and it’s a place of chaos.

There’s virtue in holding space within yourself for the reminder of uncertainty.

But here I am continually tumbling, falling, and learning within this inevitable beam of existence. Death comes for us all (right?) and I’m here waiting for it, but while death waits, I’ll dance with the chaos of this endless loop. And when this loop ends, you will have found me watering the root of my inevitable demise.

And when the bottle opens, I weep. 

Until next time,

With love,

Brenden

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